cristovau: (Fresh)
[personal profile] cristovau
Today is a trip back into Shadows of Amun. I have four named roles with complicated tasks. However, I am thinking of family.

My mom wrote me a lovely e-mail earlier this week, so I just wrote back. It isn't a paper letter, yet, more likely to get a reply. Things are getting stressful back home. Both my parents are in poor health. My dad has limited mobility, and his PCP thinks he might need surgery to improve things. My mother is recovering from extensive surgery and will have more scheduled. As a result, my grandmother has moved in to my cousin Cheryl's house. Cher is about 10 years my senior and remained in the area, so that makes sense. She is also a bit high-strung, so it also doesn't make sense. I do not know how it is working, but my mother fears it isn't. My grandmother may need the care of a nursing home soon. That is one of those things... hard to face.

In all this, my niece is having a home-school graduation party on Sunday, and my sister is having a home-teacher retirement party. She is headed towards empty-nester time, and my niece has the world open to her, but lives in books. I love my niece.

In all this backdrop, I think on my life and wonder why I punched out, left home, and didn't really look back. I am out of the equation because I live over an hour away, practically in another state or another world in my provincial family's thoughts. There is a meme of the prodigal son... and part of me identifies with it, always has, and I don't know why. I love my family, and am deeply defined by them. But there is this drive to live my own life... college - Boston - Pilsen - now Chelmsford - it makes little sense. I never hated where I was from, nor my family.

It mystifies Bess. She talks with her folks on an almost daily basis. Usually small check ins, and it gets frustrating, but it is how they work. Me, I talk to them every other week? But when we talk it is an hour on the phone.

And I think about my kids. They are happy, for the most part, and well-balanced and loving. I wonder how often I will talk with them?

Time moves on. There is no denying that. I just worry I'll regret the movements I never noticed.

More anon...
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